To Zen or Not To Zen...that is my question

I'm here.
At a dinner table.
Changing a diaper.
Driving the minivan (looking as smooth and relaxed as one can driving ye olde minivan)
Playing pirates.
Doing dishes,
Washing laundry.
Looking for sleep.
Meeting the repairman,
Paying the bills.
Cleaning up toys.
Bulding couch forts.
Taking out trash.
Returning calls.
Searching job sites.

Everything all of us is doing, connected, hardwired into one another, a giant paternal pulse, in iambic pentamter beating away our living moments.

Boy w've been busy and I apologize for being away--it was intentional and it was part of my growth, being able to let go of the fact that I was going to blob it out everyday and while spiritually, emotionally, mentally I did just that I was unable to send it out to you or post. Rahter than worry myself about it or beat myself up about it for feeling like a fatehrly failure I just let it go, knowing I would get back to it. The reasons are as complex as the lives we have been living, all of us, making our way through each day-- Most snowy here, most jam-pakced with joy and play and trying to fill the days with laughter and silliness and eating and time together.

So here I am, having walked another long way, having asked myself another series of long questions with even longer questions attached to those...and surprisingly some answers along my way too. If I try to live Zen am I missing the point of living Zen, and if I focus too hard on the living of it will I miss the living and my supposed inextricable link to my world?
What about just giving myself over to it--if I do that, and consciously know I am working on doing that, does it take soemthing away from my journey?
I have decided in musing on these things that not any of that matters and if it did it is just bs anyway and not the role or job of this Zen Daddy--or probably any Zen Daddy out there in the universe.
The blogging is a quest, the lifestyle and choices are the vehicle for my self-transformation and that is all that matters along that line of ideology and if other friends, soon-to-be-friends, strangers, parents whoever enjoy the journey with me and find themselves dealing with all of this too and search for their own clarity and tips for being the best they can be daily then it is all truly worthwhile and it will have achieved something that transcends the random and everyday.

Questions are a window into oursleves and into what we deeply at our truest evolved forms wish to be. We ask questions partly because of what we fear from the artificial, superficial world around us I think and we ask those questions also as a weapon to ward off that world believing at those deepest levels that we as a society, as a world can overcome and destroy those veneers and facades which prohibit so many from attaining their best selves.

There...I feel better about those issues, are you confused? Hope not, but if you are that is a wonderful place to work from too. Fear, confusion, uncertainty are only allies in our lives that are reminding us that something more important is out there for us to anchor our hopes and dreams in.

I am wishing you happy searching and questioning.

With Gratitude,
Zen Daddy